a thankful heart

Philippians 4:19 (Amplified Bible)
And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

today the Lord really stirred this verse in my spirit while i was sitting here at work with everything that has been going on today in our world. here is a tidbit of what you can see all over the news headlines today, this one is courtesy of fox news.com.

with our country in a complete state of panic, and even in my workplace with co-workers who are in a shocked, concerned, and fearful state about what tomorrow brings, i have had a day to really communicate with God about what a benefit it is to know the truth of His word. i honestly can't imagine what it would be like to have to live without the word of God in your life. the word is so vital to the core of who i am and how i live my life that i can't imagine to live a day without it. in the days that our world is currently facing, thank God for His word! thank God that i can sleep at night and know that He alone & nothing else is my source. i can know that because i am a tither and a giver that my needs are met and i am BLESSED beyond measure!

as the Lord brought Philippians 4:19 into my spirit today, i almost was sitting on my desk about to laugh because i know that no matter what my needs are that they are met, and that is because i live the by laws and rules of God's economy and not this world's! my riches are in HIS riches which aren't wrapped up on wall street, or in any government bank. what awesome news that is! it is awesome to know that no matter what the situation, that i can trust & rely on Him to bring me to the other side with a liberal supply, filled to my fullest of all that i need!! praise God! so, this really got me thinking about having a heart of gratitude for what the Lord has already so graciously blessed me with and i wanted to remind myself of those things, so here is my list.

i am thankful for:

-my wonderful husband: he is an amazing provider, who loves the Lord more then he loves me, who is my best friend, and he is more then i could have ever wanted, or deserved.

-my wonderful family & friends who despite all the craziness we have experienced, love me, care for me, and supports me through the good, the bad, & the ugly.

-my amazing house: this is truly a God given blessing! what a beautiful home that i have with my husband, that the Lord was able to provide means for us to build, live in, furnish, and love.

-my job even though some days i don't like it, it is a provision for me to live, bless others, be a giver & a tither, and help to support my family. in times when people are having a hard time finding jobs, thank God for the steadiness that i have in mine.

-life & the means to live it: in times in our world when people can't pay their bills, let alone enjoy the wonderful things that life has to offer, i get to pay off what i owe, give to the Lord, and enjoy life on top of that!! for that i am TRULY blessed, and have my needs met, and have some extra to enjoy. it may not be the glamorous life of expensive things, but it is a life FULL of good things for me to enjoy. what a blessing!

i guess i said that all to say that today what the Lord spoke to me about was that not only that He is and will continue to be my provision through whatever tomorrow brings, but that when days look dark, and things look tough, to remember what He has done, be thankful for it all, and as you do that, you will see that your concerns will fade because you know and have lived the goodness of what God has to offer, and no matter what is going on in this world, that will never change, the word of God is consistently the same and will ALWAYS stand the test of time. thank God for His word and thank God that i get to live in the fullness of it!!

then & now:how we became one

so last week i was sitting in my loft, and i decided to peek through some of my old journals and it was really interesting!! for those of you who don't really know about the beginnings of mine & scott's relationship, this will be an interesting post for you!

i would really have to post a novel if i was to get into every detail about our beginnings, but i will recap here for you the best way that i can. basically scott & i first crossed paths back in the 7th grade and i was anything but nice to him. he was the new kid & i thought he was geeky, so in typical middle school fashion i made fun of him for being the kid with the cream backpack. this continued on for the rest of middle school, basically we didnt have much to say to each other and our paths never really crossed which didnt bother me much until one fated day. one day out of the blue in the 9th grade, while sitting in mrs. bergk's class scott caught my attention. i couldn't really tell you what exactly caught it, but i remember looking at him laughing & smiling and i was just drawn to him. of course, i was like what is going on? since all i had known of this kid was laughing and picking on him. as time went on i really just prayed for him & about him everyday, and sought God on my new found feelings for him. i watched him with admiring eyes from a distant and really got a big big crush on him.

as with anything in high school, this was soon followed by a lot of DRAMA. i had told some friends that i liked him and from there somehow it spread around and before i knew it most everyone had heard, including scott. things were said by people about him that he had said, some true, some not true and i was literally crushed. i tried with all i was to hate him but something in my heart wouldn't let him go. i asked God about it and the only answer i got was to pray for him. so that is what i did, as time went on i still had a crush on him, but my heart was more concerned about just praying for him, and whatever his role in my life was. a YEAR went by of this, and this is where i found myself turning through the pages of my journals, and i thought i would share some posts with you.

9/13/01
you know, i don't exactly know how long this will all last, whether it be a day, a month, a year, or forever who knows? whatever tomorrow brings, i am ready for it.

2/25/02
i was thinking of scott today and i've decided to FULLY trust God with everything, including boys, He knows it all and He'll bring that right one to me if i trust Him with it. i'm not sure if Scott is someone special and i'm not sure that he's not. i'm just trusting God to lead my paths and to show me the way, until then i am content being myself.

9/3/02
there is just something about scott that my heart longs to know, longs to be with, i know God has a magnificent plan for me, and i am getting to a place where i am anxious to know,but more importantly i want to know if scott will ever be in my life. i guess what i am trying to say is this year is the beginning of a whole new journey for me, an exciting one, filled with many God things, and i know God will and is taking care of Scott issues, so i just need to trust Him.

11/30/02
we talked on im tonight for like 2 hours, about like deep things, his life, my life, just things in general, but he totally opened up, and we talked about our families, and wow just so much! our conversation totally turned into a God thing! it's awesome! i cannot even say how extremely happy i am!!

12/12/02-the day after scott asked me out
i thank God so much for this gift He has given me, words cannot even begin to describe the contentment within my heart, i know that this is his perfect will, and that God placed scott in my life for a very special reason, and it is a very special relationship.

reading all these journal entries, it is just so wonderful to see how God's plan worked out in our lives. it was a long journey from then to now, and this entry was only a snapshot of what has happened for us, but it has been a wonderful journey of love created by our heavenly Father. i see then how i was able to really trust God and then i had no idea of all that would become of scott & i but my heart knew there was something special about us and as we both stayed faithful to His plan, He was able to bring us together. what a wonderful relationship we have had so far, and things will only continue to get better.

i am so thankful that we were willing to wait for each other and really trust Him in relationships. i love that scott has been my one & only, i love that i don't know what it is to be with any one else. i have been able to share my life & my love with my very best friend, and i am so thankful that God is the one who orchestrated it all. what a good Father we serve that He loved us so much to be created our love story so wonderfully.

count it all joy

recently i have been feeling really tested. there has been a lot of pressure and a lot of tension that has been brought my way. i feel like when you are being tested things compound on top of each other and it becomes this huge mountain that you feel crushed under. i know that what i am facing is nothing new, it's not something that others have not faced in their lives, but when you are in the middle of it you can get to feeling so alone, like there is no where to turn, nothing that could make it better.

i won't get into details about what exactly i have been facing, but it feels as if over the last month it has been blow after blow after blow, and it finally came to the boiling point yesterday. as i found myself with tears in my eyes talking to scott i knew i had two choices. i could either wallow in the adversity, or i could acknowledge it and lay it at my Father's feet. i knew what the enemy wanted me to do, it was as if i could hear him whisper in my ear "there is nothing you can do, things will only get worse, keep crying because it cannot be overcome." thankfully my spirit knew better, it reminded me that the enemy is a liar and that the word of God is faithful and true. scott and i spent some time together in prayer and just laid all our cares at the Father's feet. it was, and is a struggle to not take up those cares, to not acknowledge those thoughts but i am CHOOSING to walk in faith. i am choosing to believe the word of God. i am looking past the adversity and straight to the answer. i cannot be defeated and i will not quit.

this morning on my way to work i was spending time with the Father and He reminded me of what the truth of the word is. this is what i was reminded of:

[james 1:2-4]
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

so i am choosing to count this all joy, because my faith will be strengthed and in the end i will be entire and complete, well-development in EVERY way. praise God for His word and that in the trials and tests of this life that we have a hope to cling to! what a good God i serve!

the small things

so yesterday i went to out to ice cream with my good friend lauren and we had such a wonderful time talking like always, and we got on to the topic of lifestyle evangelism. we both have had many experiences in our lives with people, and through our lives we have had the opportunity to share the love of God, simply because that person was watching our life, and noticed something different.

when i was going to school at rhema, we had a class about evangelism. we studied different types of evangelism, and one of those was lifestyle. the teacher of the class stated that he felt that lifestyle evangelism was one of the most powerful tools that we have to be a witness for Christ in this world. a lot of people will not listen to a preacher, or even step foot in a church, but when they know you are a Christian, they WATCH you. they probably will study your life harder than you will ever know. each day we have the opportunity to share Christ in a powerful unspoken way, and that is simply by living your life in a manner that will bring glory to Him. whether it is in simply smiling at someone every day, preferring someone in line, buying someone lunch, not swearing, not being hateful or angry, in whatever it is you have the chance to be a shining light for the Lord.

last night Lauren said that with living your life for Christ and being a witness that it isn't even in the big things that people notice, but its in the small day to day things that we don't realize. i have known this to be true in my life. with many of my coworkers it has been the simple things that they have brought up as a reason that made them know there was something different about me. whether it is my optimism, my kindness, my joy, or my conscience to not lie, cheat, swear, drink, smoke, or whatever it is, they are the things that don't phase me or seem big at all, but to the outsider who is watching, it speaks volumes.

i guess my point in all this is that each day remember to glorify God in your life and your actions, you never know who is watching you and you may be the only Jesus that they will ever see. make sure that you reflect Him in a manner that He is worthy of. this is something that i constantly have to work at, every day is a choice, but the results have been awesome for me, and i know they will be for you too.

a time and a season

lately i have really been thinking a lot about what God has called me to, what He has purposed my life for. i can't believe that it has been over a year since i graduated from rhema, that is so mind-blowing to me. the thought of my call to ministry has been on my mind a lot lately, my heart is yearning so much to see what the Lord has shown me glimpses of over the years start to be fulfilled in my life. i feel like there is so much more that i should be doing, and i would love nothing more than to have my job be in the ministry right now, but i know that there is a time and a season for it.

it's hard for me because i see people i graduated with and i see them in ministry right now and i ask the lord why can't i be doing that? silly i know to compare my call to someone else when the Lord has individual things for each of us, but i know you get what i mean. i know that the Lord is preparing me right now for that time when i will be in ministry, but its hard to not be anxious for it. sometimes i feel like in the daily grind of working a secular job that i am not really doing what the Lord has called me to, and its silly for me to think that because what better ministry opportunity is there then working in a secular workplace with people who need Jesus so much. the devil tries to get in my mind and belittle what it is that i am doing working right now, but there has been many chances for me to share my faith with my coworkers that i am doing ministry work, but just in a different way.

my heart yearns to walk in all the God has shown me, but its all in His timing. the call of God is something that will never be lost in my life, i will do all that He has shown me and more, but its all one step at a time. it's that growth period that i need to go through before i can do all the other things. you can't get ahead of what God has for you in this season of your life. daily i have to remind myself of that, to not get ahead of Him, to not be impatient, but trust in what He is doing. i know that i am where i am supposed to be, and even though i don't understand it all, i may not see all that God is doing behind the scenes but i just have to be faithful to the here and now.

i will continue to be passionate about the lost, passionate about helping them to find Christ and the greatness of the Father, it is what i am wired for, its what my heart beats for. i want to see this world impacted by the Father's love in the way that i have been. i can't wait for the plan he has to unfold in my life, all in HIS timing.

and he'll do it again

so lately scott and i have been facing some challenges in the financial realm. now, its not anything horribly challenging, but things have been tighter then usual. with paying off final bills for the wedding, and having gone over budget a smidge, it made things tighter than we are used to. now why am i sharing this personal part of my life with you? because in every obstacle and challenge that i have faced, God has ALWAYS been bigger.

not only where things tight because of the wedding and honeymoon expenses, the cherry on top of that was that my break pad on my car needed to be fixed, among other things that needed to be cleaned up, so there was another expense that didn't need to be added to our already tight looking finances. Praise God that He is always BIGGER then our problems! scott and i were talking about this situation and he was really down on it, not speaking faith or the word of God over the situation, just really looking at it from the worldy perspective. so i stopped him as he was talking and i took the time to remind him that God has never let us down, that He has ALWAYS been there when we needed something, when we couldn't do it in our own strength He has made a way. why would this situation be any different? why in this situation would He let us down? scott agreed with me, and said well we need something to happen because we can't do this on our own.

and nevertheless the very next day we got a call from someone who knew of our situation and wanted to make sure that we knew that if we needed a little extra help with paying for my car repairs that they would be there to help us. PRAISE GOD! it was so awesome that the day after scott and i decided to speak the word over our situation that God was able to step in and make a way for us! even better news is that things ended up not being as tight as we thought and we probably won't need to borrow the money from that person, but we still have a way if we need it.

i guess my point is always remember the goodness of God. there is so much in life that the Lord has done for you, and in those moments when things get tough and the devil is trying to get you down, and get you focused on the problem at hand, look up to Him and remember what He has brought you through. remember His faithfulness and what awesome obstacles He has taken care of for you. if He did it once, He will do it again, that is a promise you can rely on!

what are you dreaming about?

i LOVE the word of God! i love how you can read one thing and it will explode a million things inside you from just ONE word from God. this weekend pastor mac had a great message on imagination & expectation and it really stirred me up. he was talking about using your thought life to imagine what the blessing of God could be in your life. he encouraged us to set aside time in our day to imagine our life as God see's it, through the word and the promises contained in it.

this morning while i was at work i spent some time doing that. i was folding some invoices that i do everyday and instead of daydreaming about getting more sleep, i thought about my life and what God's word has to say about it. i thought about living a life that is truly BLESSED beyond measure! it got me really excited! there are so many things and dreams that the Lord has placed in my heart and i spent some time just imagining myself doing exactly all that He has shown me. it is so exciting to think about fulfilling the call on your life, and doing it with no lack but having MORE then enough to reach the world with the power of Christ. there could be nothing better!! :)

i love how if all we ever has was just one promise, one verse in the word of God and that would be enough for the rest of our life, but God gave us so much more than that! He gave us an entire book filled with the promises He has given to us and it so much more then we will ever understand in this life! praise God for His word!!!