Friday, July 25, 2008

a time and a season

lately i have really been thinking a lot about what God has called me to, what He has purposed my life for. i can't believe that it has been over a year since i graduated from rhema, that is so mind-blowing to me. the thought of my call to ministry has been on my mind a lot lately, my heart is yearning so much to see what the Lord has shown me glimpses of over the years start to be fulfilled in my life. i feel like there is so much more that i should be doing, and i would love nothing more than to have my job be in the ministry right now, but i know that there is a time and a season for it.

it's hard for me because i see people i graduated with and i see them in ministry right now and i ask the lord why can't i be doing that? silly i know to compare my call to someone else when the Lord has individual things for each of us, but i know you get what i mean. i know that the Lord is preparing me right now for that time when i will be in ministry, but its hard to not be anxious for it. sometimes i feel like in the daily grind of working a secular job that i am not really doing what the Lord has called me to, and its silly for me to think that because what better ministry opportunity is there then working in a secular workplace with people who need Jesus so much. the devil tries to get in my mind and belittle what it is that i am doing working right now, but there has been many chances for me to share my faith with my coworkers that i am doing ministry work, but just in a different way.

my heart yearns to walk in all the God has shown me, but its all in His timing. the call of God is something that will never be lost in my life, i will do all that He has shown me and more, but its all one step at a time. it's that growth period that i need to go through before i can do all the other things. you can't get ahead of what God has for you in this season of your life. daily i have to remind myself of that, to not get ahead of Him, to not be impatient, but trust in what He is doing. i know that i am where i am supposed to be, and even though i don't understand it all, i may not see all that God is doing behind the scenes but i just have to be faithful to the here and now.

i will continue to be passionate about the lost, passionate about helping them to find Christ and the greatness of the Father, it is what i am wired for, its what my heart beats for. i want to see this world impacted by the Father's love in the way that i have been. i can't wait for the plan he has to unfold in my life, all in HIS timing.


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