Tuesday, September 23, 2008

then & now:how we became one

so last week i was sitting in my loft, and i decided to peek through some of my old journals and it was really interesting!! for those of you who don't really know about the beginnings of mine & scott's relationship, this will be an interesting post for you!

i would really have to post a novel if i was to get into every detail about our beginnings, but i will recap here for you the best way that i can. basically scott & i first crossed paths back in the 7th grade and i was anything but nice to him. he was the new kid & i thought he was geeky, so in typical middle school fashion i made fun of him for being the kid with the cream backpack. this continued on for the rest of middle school, basically we didnt have much to say to each other and our paths never really crossed which didnt bother me much until one fated day. one day out of the blue in the 9th grade, while sitting in mrs. bergk's class scott caught my attention. i couldn't really tell you what exactly caught it, but i remember looking at him laughing & smiling and i was just drawn to him. of course, i was like what is going on? since all i had known of this kid was laughing and picking on him. as time went on i really just prayed for him & about him everyday, and sought God on my new found feelings for him. i watched him with admiring eyes from a distant and really got a big big crush on him.

as with anything in high school, this was soon followed by a lot of DRAMA. i had told some friends that i liked him and from there somehow it spread around and before i knew it most everyone had heard, including scott. things were said by people about him that he had said, some true, some not true and i was literally crushed. i tried with all i was to hate him but something in my heart wouldn't let him go. i asked God about it and the only answer i got was to pray for him. so that is what i did, as time went on i still had a crush on him, but my heart was more concerned about just praying for him, and whatever his role in my life was. a YEAR went by of this, and this is where i found myself turning through the pages of my journals, and i thought i would share some posts with you.

you know, i don't exactly know how long this will all last, whether it be a day, a month, a year, or forever who knows? whatever tomorrow brings, i am ready for it.

i was thinking of scott today and i've decided to FULLY trust God with everything, including boys, He knows it all and He'll bring that right one to me if i trust Him with it. i'm not sure if Scott is someone special and i'm not sure that he's not. i'm just trusting God to lead my paths and to show me the way, until then i am content being myself.

there is just something about scott that my heart longs to know, longs to be with, i know God has a magnificent plan for me, and i am getting to a place where i am anxious to know,but more importantly i want to know if scott will ever be in my life. i guess what i am trying to say is this year is the beginning of a whole new journey for me, an exciting one, filled with many God things, and i know God will and is taking care of Scott issues, so i just need to trust Him.

we talked on im tonight for like 2 hours, about like deep things, his life, my life, just things in general, but he totally opened up, and we talked about our families, and wow just so much! our conversation totally turned into a God thing! it's awesome! i cannot even say how extremely happy i am!!

12/12/02-the day after scott asked me out
i thank God so much for this gift He has given me, words cannot even begin to describe the contentment within my heart, i know that this is his perfect will, and that God placed scott in my life for a very special reason, and it is a very special relationship.

reading all these journal entries, it is just so wonderful to see how God's plan worked out in our lives. it was a long journey from then to now, and this entry was only a snapshot of what has happened for us, but it has been a wonderful journey of love created by our heavenly Father. i see then how i was able to really trust God and then i had no idea of all that would become of scott & i but my heart knew there was something special about us and as we both stayed faithful to His plan, He was able to bring us together. what a wonderful relationship we have had so far, and things will only continue to get better.

i am so thankful that we were willing to wait for each other and really trust Him in relationships. i love that scott has been my one & only, i love that i don't know what it is to be with any one else. i have been able to share my life & my love with my very best friend, and i am so thankful that God is the one who orchestrated it all. what a good Father we serve that He loved us so much to be created our love story so wonderfully.


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