it isn't all about you anymore....

so lately i have been thinking about selfishness, and how in our lives we start off so selfish. i mean you look at a baby and all they know is self. they cry until they get what they want, because it is all about them, they don't know to consider anyone or anything else but what they want and need 24/7. as you grow up and progress in life, you loose the selfishness and become more aware of the needs of others in your life. each day should be a step away from selfishness, and a step toward selflessness.

i guess this was on my mind because one of the things i have learned [even more then ever before in my life] since i have been married is that it really truly isn't just about me anymore. when i married scott i committed myself to work at our life together. for me, it has been a good learning experience because i don't always realize when i am being selfish and putting what i want above everything else. when i was on my own in oklahoma, i could really do whatever i wanted because it was my apartment, my money, and my life. if i wanted something i could just go buy it and not think about anyone else because it was all me. i got accustomed to that lifestyle, and i definitely liked it because i never had to say no to something that i really wanted. being married is a completely different ballgame, not only do i have to consider my spouse, but i have to consider sticking to our monthly budget, and all the things that come along with working at a life together. it's a learning lesson of loosing the "me" and becoming a "we". it is something that takes a lot of work [as i am learning] but it is worth the reward that you receive. when i prefer scott in things, i see him choosing to prefer me and that blesses my heart. one act of selflessness produce another and it's really like a snowball effect.

it is always a painful process to say no to self, because really who likes to have to tell themselves no? but it is so worth it. i think about how marriage is only the beginning of a life of selflessness, because once you have kids and a family you really begin to say no to yourself even more then ever before, but it is something that i know also produces a great reward. i love that in Christ we have the greatest example of selflessness. He is always our ultimate role model! it is encouraging to know that if He can do it, that He has given us the ability to walk it out in our lives as well. each day is a new opportunity to challenge myself in my walk of preferring others, all the way down to the little things like driving in traffic, but i see that as i make a conscious effort to choose selflessness, it becomes easier to walk it out and really truly understand that it isn't always all about me.